Tuesday, May 3, 2011

我对你,只有放弃,没有忘记。

Obviously this wasn't written by me
But I feel it's nice
So I shall share it
And it could mean a thing or two...

很偶尔的,我们会联系,还是会挑拨我的心弦。只是,我也学会对你伪装了,不冷不热,不咸不淡,笑得没心没肺,也不会再流那廉价的眼泪了。

总要等到过了很久,总要等退无可退,才知道我们曾亲手舍弃的东西,在后来的日子里,再也遇不到了。

我还能够说些什么?我还能够做些什么?我好希望你会听见,因为爱你,我让你走了。

再见了,我那么那么爱你,虽然笨拙,但也努力做了好多,所以我不遗憾了。现在,我把爱情还给你,你把我仅有的一点点骄傲还给我。

我还是会相信爱情,只是不会再相信爱情能永远。

我们相识的时间能够以年计算了,你找到了你爱的,而我,还在原地徘徊着。

我们再也不会像以前那样,以彼此为不可替代;我们再也不会像以前那样,那样用力的爱,直到哭了出来。

陪你走完这一段路,你也变成我路过的路。

我知道,忘记是件轻松的事情,只要不看着,不想着,不记着,就忘记了,就像,烟火过后的天空。

望穿流年,我相信你真的爱过我,就像我当初真的为了你,可生可死。

让我站在心碎的地方,轻轻打一个结,一种缝补,阻止伤痛再流出。

一直股指的以为面对什么事情我都能够坦然的微笑,可是,终于在你转身决定离去的一刹那,我泪如泉涌,不可抑制。这是,过往的幸福嘲笑着心中的疼痛,原来,世界上最痛的痛是你的离开。

我赢了所有人,却输掉了你。

有天当你想起我,时间已摆平所有的错,也学会不再问为什么。直到有一天,面对爱情开始吝啬,会不会怀念当初的炙热?一路上经过各自曲折,直到有一天,选某个人相濡以沫。

你唯一没做好的事,是和我在一起。我唯一没有做好的事,是没能留住你。

也许当看破一切的时候,能知道,可能失去比拥有更踏实。

似乎等待了一百年,忽然明白,即使再见面,也许成熟的表演,不如不见。

忘记你,不如忘记自己,告诉自己,不是怕你忘记,而是怕有一天再把你记起。岁月带走的是记忆,但回忆会越来越清晰。

以后再也不会奋不顾身的去爱一个人了,哪怕是你。

安慰自己,没有什么忘不了的,总会在以后的时间忘了你,先忘了你的样子,再忘了你的声音,忘了你说过的话,现在不行,以后也可以。

我心里一直有你,只是以后会变而已。

现在终于到了要分别的时候,你比我先走,我反而觉得有点欣慰。这样的悲伤,迟早会让我们其中一个人单独体会,就让我来承担好了。

分手后,我还认识你,不过不再想见你,你过的好,我不会祝福你,你过的不好,我也不会嘲笑你,因为我们从此陌生,你的世界不再有我,我的世界不再有你。

我不能再珍惜你,抱歉,我失去的,也是你失去的。

我们都这样离散在岁月的风里,回过头去,却看不到曾经在一起的痕迹,尽管,曾今那么用力的在一起过。

这次的爱,我无法轻描淡写。

总以为,在最初的地方,有一个最原来的我,就也会有一个最原来的你。

是你变了心,还是白天黑夜交换了时差?

我住在这个伤感的城市,没有你的城市我只是一个人独自,而你却依然存活的快活。

对于你,我只能以陌生人的身份去怀念。

等你有新欢了,我连旧爱都不是。

(只不过。你以后也只是换一个人,把以前我们做过的事情再做一遍而已。你做那些事情的时候,是不是会想起我。我也没有什么遗憾了,该陪你做的事情我都做了。没有做的事情我曾经努力过的去做,只不过你没有答应。)

也许有一天,你回头了,而我却早已,不在那个路口。

结局和过程都有了,再去纠缠,连自己都觉得贪婪。

不停的写日记,我不知道停不住的究竟是笔,还是记忆。

我们说好一起老去看细水长流,却将成为别人的某某。

藏在心底的话并不是故意要去隐瞒,只是并不是所有的疼痛都可以呐喊。

人这一辈子,真爱有几回,而后即便再有如何缱绻的爱情,终究不会再伤筋动骨。

我对你,只有放弃,没有忘记。

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

疯子?热忱?

收工近一个礼拜
回到过去懒散的生活
分享之前工作的点滴

参与幕后剧组
这是第一次

与之前在综艺节目做幕后相比
差别甚大
综艺节目在studio拍
工作时间定时
电视剧室内户外通吃
工作时间总超过12小时
开始工作时天还没亮
收工时天已暗
只欠没做通宵

与之前当演员相比
差别也甚大
演员只需要在有通告时开工
剧组则是天天开工

第一次做场记
有看到和学到东西
时时刻刻得跟着导演
从中看到导演如何排戏和拍戏
时时刻刻得看着小荧幕
从中看到演员如何演戏

这次的‘跟剧组到处跑’
跑到的地方都很陌生
都很远离我的comfort zone
我的comfort zone是巴生和Damansara一带
不知为何
当我到一个远离我的comfort zone的地方时
就会有一种莫名的不安全感
感觉上离我家很远
离我熟悉的环境很远
所看到的东西全是还没看过的
就是一种陌生感

Cheras
Kajang
Puchong
Ampang
Kuchai Lama
Pudu
Desa Petaling
Taman OUG
这是我随剧组所到的地方
都是之前没去过或去过不上3次的地方
现在
感觉上我真的是去过很多地方
-.-"

说真的
参与剧组的这两个礼拜
每天跑远路
而且每天最多只睡5个小时
很累很累
不过到头来
我问我自己
甘不甘愿?
甘愿
如果时光倒流我会不会做?
我会

曾有人对我说
做这一行全靠一份热忱
难道
这就是所谓的热忱?

Monday, April 25, 2011

What's Your Ace?

What's your ace?

To gamblers
Ace is the 'A' in a deck of cards
Double Ace is where you get triple the amount of your bet in a game of Blackjack

To tennis fans
Ace means a serve that is not returned by the opponent
Players with a strong serve are most likely to get aces

To me
Ace is my new phone
The Samsung Galaxy Ace


I joked that this phone is the product of Samsung Galaxy S and iPhone 4 having sex
Because it simply looked like the combination of those two phones
Some say it's an iPhone 4 wannabe
Whatever

My first phone was the Nokia 6020
It's as old a phone as you can think of
If you forgot those days when phones without Bluetooth existed
This is one of the phones that existed in that era

My second phone was the SE K810i
It's a phone with Cyber-shot
It's a 3G phone
It's a phone that everyone wanted back then

Then come my third and current phone
Samsung Galaxy Ace
A smartphone!
Yes I had to add an exclamation mark there
As I'm new to smartphones
So new that I don't really know how to use this phone at first
It's a big step up from my previous two phones okay?
Furthermore I'm no technology and gadget freak
And also I'm no longer 15 or 16
I'm 21 and am slower in learning than those early teens okay?

Well after several weeks of getting used to the phone
And all the touch-screen techs (yes touch-screen amazes me, still used to all those physical buttons)
I found the phone quite nice

Everything is good
Except the battery
Not saying the battery is terrible
But it's really weaker than average
Made me consider bringing the charger along wherever I go
This has never been the case with my previous phones

Samsung Galaxy Ace
Is as close as I can get to an iPhone
Forget iPhone
There are thousands of iPhone users walking down the street
I wanna be unique as I always do

Friday, April 8, 2011

Petaling Street

Today I went to Petaling Street
And for the first time
I went to the McDonald's there
There are 2 McDonald's at Petaling Street
I went to the one opposite Popular Bookstore

Since it's my first time at Petaling Street's McDonald's
I know this would also be the first chance for me to enjoy the view of the olden part of KL
I purposely choose a table next to the window

The view was very different from the KL we always knew
The buildings are old
Streets narrow
Environment noisy
Even this McDonald's is not the typical McDonald's we are used to
I can feel no air-cond in it
Only the wall fans kept me from sweating
The pedestrians are basically walking next to the place I sit
Just a glass window that separates us
I see Malays Chinese Indians
And lots of foreign workers and tourists as well

After filling my stomach I walked down the Petaling Street
Which could easily be one of the oldest parts of KL still standing today
Lots of 'Nike's and 'LV's
As you know

Almost half of the street are being occupied by foreign workers these days
I automatically be more aware of my belongings once I stepped onto the street
This describes how complex the environment of Petaling Street is
But despite all that
I still find the nostalgic feeling coming to me
Especially when I see those food stalls along the long and narrow alley
Selling Wantan Mee, Pork Noodles, Loh See Fun etc
I can feel the 'olden days' feeling

This is Petaling Street
A street that signifies the history of Chinese settling down in this country

如今外劳占着大半个茨厂街
踏入该区我很自然地就提高警惕提防扒手
可看出来茨厂街如今的环境有多复杂
纵然如此
我还是感受到那股怀旧的感觉
看着那几条窄窄的小巷摆满了小摊子
卖云吞面,猪肉粉,老鼠粉
充满了‘古早味’

这是茨厂街
一条见证华人在这片土地扎根的街道

Monday, April 4, 2011

Break Free

I thought I would do something on that day
I actually planned to do something on that day
Be it just a very simple thing
I didn't do it in the end
I didn't do anything on that day

Does this mean that I broke free?
I really don't know

But sometimes there are things we just have to break free from it

I know this post is very abstract
In it I put lots of thoughts known only to me
You don't have to get what I say at the front
The point is in the final sentence
Think about it and it will mean a thing to you

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Being Alone

I love being alone
Don't get me wrong
I don't mean I prefer being alone than being with friends
It's just that I don't mind being alone in a public place
I guess not many could say the same thing
I find enjoyment while being alone as well

Perhaps up till this point you might feel that I'm weird
But I assure that after you read my points
Your opinion would change

When I'm alone
Say
In a cafe
With a cup of coffee
I can fully enjoy the aroma of my cup of coffee
I'll spend my time observing the people around me
I can see different types of people
The way they talk
The way they dress
Their taste of drinks
Their preference of food
Guess their personality
Guess their profession
There are lots of things I could observe and think of when I'm alone
I don't get that luxury while I'm with friends
I'll be so occupied by those jokes and conversations
I wouldn't be able to fully feel the taste of my coffee
I would observe far less people in my surrounding

I wouldn't be worried that those people at the next table will be saying that I'm a lone ranger
Because they might not realize me at all
How I know?
Because when I'm busy with my friends
I probably wouldn't even realize that the person sitting at the next table is alone
Even if they did
So what?

So
To be sipping a cup of coffee
Surfing the net using my laptop
Enjoy what the public TV had to offer
And when I'm tired
Just sit down and observe the people and surrounding
Is a different way of enjoying life

When I'm alone
I could really see and think far more
Then when I'm with my friends

Being alone
Isn't that bad after all isn't it?

Just a note
To those who are very rejective of being alone
Try going alone to somewhere familiar whom you always go with friends
Whether is cafe, restaurant, bookstore, shopping complex or even mamak stall
You would see more of the place and see it differently
Trust me

But here I once again reiterate
I don't prefer being alone than being with friends
I actually prefer being talking and joking around with friends

It's just that I don't mind being alone

Friday, April 1, 2011

Just Can't Get Enough of Just Can't Get Enough

Happy April Fool's day to all
Happy birthday to me
But don't get fooled by this post's title
It's not a fool
Recently
I just can't get enough of just can't get enough
Confusing huh?
Well then
Just enjoy this new Black Eyed Peas song